Yesterday was an off day for me. I think I’m still trying to soak in everything from the weekend still because we haven’t had down time to process everything that we have experienced. It takes a toll that you don’t realize until you start crying out of nowhere. That is our cue that we need to talk and let some emotions out. Debra and I went on a walk before our reflection with the group to discuss some frustrations and things on our minds. Then during the group reflection we were both in tears and didn’t know why!?
It’s odd not having control of our emotions. We left the group to go for a walk and just let the tears out instead of fighting them for the rest of the reflection. It was really good for the both of us as we are 2 of the most sensitive girls in the groupJ We did Zumba at night which was a lot of fun and we were all drenched by the end. One of our instructors suggested going to a place close by to have a Presidente, alcoholic beverage, for fun. A group of us went and it was a good, relaxing time to just spend with each other. We laughed so much and it was a great stress relief after the intense weekend.
Today we saw 3 kids that were VERY involved. One child had autism and would inflict self-stimulating behaviors such as hitting her head when she would become upset and she was unable to walk without losing her balance. The second child we saw was very spastic in his arms, legs, and trunk. I instructed the mother how to perform infant massage to her child, and we also demonstrated some positioning to help break up his tone. The last child was the most spastic child we have seen yet. It was unbelievable how much this little guy had going on. We instructed the mom on different sensory techniques that may help to calm him and facilitate his head control while also offering positions to break up his spasticity. They were so grateful for all we had to offer them, but Les, Deb and I were definitely exhausted after the sessions.
We tend to do a lot of walking between houses of the kids we see. Today one of the houses we walked to required that we walk over a bridge that felt as though it would break. It was probably 12 feet high and the promotora informed us that we had to go one at a time. We all made it across safely even though it felt like the boards were about to break under our feet with each stepJ We didn’t get back to the ILAC center til 1 although we typically get back at 12:30. Unfortunately, our internet hasn’t been working. It didn’t work at all last night and we had no power yesterday so it was fairly frustrating. We don’t have a lot of free time, so the free time that we do have is very valuable to talk to our families. It is a constant reminder that we have no control over ANYTHING.
We went to Conani (the orphanage) again today and it was harder for us. I worked with a couple babies who were 2 years old on being on their tummies. I wasn’t their favorite person for doing that but they did very well once they realized I wasn’t letting them out of it. I’ve turned into quite the meanie after working with kids all summerJ We also got sheets and used it as a swing for the kids who are left in their cribs the majority of the day. It was amazing to see them laugh, even the ones who didn’t speak.
Today was very draining, no lie. I’m literally exhausted and could fall asleep for days I think. It’s only 7:30 and I’m contemplating going to bed after I write this. It’s a whole new kind of tired, and just when I think I can’t go on, I somehow find energy from my friends and we push forward. It’s important to keep reminding myself that I’m here for a reason and making a difference just by spending time with these kids. We’re definitely being tested now as we’re all getting tired and the excitement is wearing off. Lea told us a great metaphor story today that re-energized us. “There are 3 kinds of people in this world, carrots, eggs, and coffee beans. We are all put under pressure at some point which resembles a boiling pot of water. Once we are put in a stressful position, some people are like carrots…they start out hard and become really soft. Others are like eggs and start out really soft and come out hard. Then there are the coffee beans who spread their goodness, impacting the whole pot of water.” I hope that I can be a coffee bean. It’s super frustrating right now without the time we would like or internet available to talk to our loved ones. But we are all here for a reason and I know God is using us each in many ways. PUSH FORWARD!!!
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